I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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