why didn't you poke me back
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
