Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so let's talk penis.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
