I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
