Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
