I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
