are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
