You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize