Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
