im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Crop dusting thru forever 21
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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