Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
