I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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