Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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