i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think people are normalizing furries
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
