Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
