Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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