I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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