I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
