im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
