Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
