yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i will never coherently bang her
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
