I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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