yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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