So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
