We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
