I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Someone shattered a urinal.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
