i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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