i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
