I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
