I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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