So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
