So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
