What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Let's paint friendship bongs
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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