I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just had sex on a roof
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
