i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
A+ Viking dick
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
