awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize