I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
