HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
