I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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