I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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