How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
