"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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