so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
