Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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