Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
