Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
