After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
