Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
