Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
