He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
