It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
