Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize