I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
