You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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