Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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