Cold hands, warm shart.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
