coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
