Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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